It makes sense that I share my thoughts on entering our relationship, and what it means for me at the moment.
Going back to the beginning, I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend,and certainly not one who lives on the other side of the world! But, I am a strong believer in fate, everything happens for a reason, which is exactly the reason I could not ignore the overwhelming feeling I got when I first met him, the same reason that I am pursuing a relationship that at times can look impossible!
I’m not going to pretend things are easy, and I know that it wont be a easy ride in the future either should our relationship go the whole mile.
logistically, so far it has been pretty good, thanks to a few hours of googling and finding communication solutions – it pays off to be a bit of a geek occasionally!
For the first 3 and a bit months he was still working, meaning he would be in port every 1-2 weeks depending on schedules, so I would see him every time he was back for a few hours. For the first month or so we kept in touch via text message until i found a SIM card which allowed me to call him in various european counties using my free minutes with no roaming charges for him (result!) so for the rest of the time I called him as and when time-zones/working/shifts permitted. It’s so much nicer when you can hear someone’s voice, all too often text messages can get lost in translation – things can be taken in the wrong way, and also Babu is one of those people who’s text messages are indecipherable at the best of times!
He has since gone on 3 months leave from work and he is at home in Orissa, India. He has been home 6 weeks so far (not that I am counting of course). We speak on the phone most days – its remarkably easy to call India on the cheap ya know -so things are good, of course I miss his real life presence, but I am pretty fortunate that I haven’t had too much time to get used to having him around, which makes the distance easier for now.
Last week, after that constant drone of “for superior 3G services, switch to reliance” every time I called him (in India the phones don’t just ring -they advertise while your waiting) it occurred to me that he should get 3G! So after a call to customer care, some technical support from me, and a payment of a bargain £1.40 a month, he has unlimited internet and another way for us to keep in touch! So we now send each other pictures, like his latest photo of himself with a beard “looking like a terrorist” as he put it, I don’t know, I think it’s kinda cute!
I must admit, at first it seemed pretty ideal, having a relationship without the intensity of seeing each other all of the time sounded great after being in full-on relationships for so long, meant I could have more “me” time! However it wasn’t until a week or so after he had gone away for the first time that I realised that wasn’t how it was going to be at all, because all I could think about was Babu, fallen, hook, line, and sinker!
So yes, even though I speak to him all the time I still miss him tremendously. It does get easier after a couple of weeks, you slip back into a routine, but based on that you can only imagine the sort of wreck I was the first couple of months! I would see him, enjoy him, try and savour every moment we had together, then BAM, off he’d go for another couple of weeks, then just as I was getting back to “normal” it’d happen all over again! It is very hard, but he is worth it!
He asked me out of the blue the other day “what will we do when I am in the Caribbean?” (he will be out there for 3 months early next year) his voice was sombre, it hit me slightly, my reply? I don’t know honey, I just don’t know, we’ll figure it out.
Because that is what we say, we’ll figure it out. When you fall for someone, who is from a different country, a different culture, with absolutely no idea how you can be together in the future – the logistics just seem so ridiculously complicated to contemplate right now, this is what we say, we’ll figure it out. At the moment it seems crazy to be trying to figure out a future after a couple of months, but at the same time I see no point in pursuing a relationship without hope for a future, I am scared, I have no idea how things will pan out, but that is also the same reason I am excited.
Short term, I’m stuck where I am with debts to pay anyway, and he will be doing his job for the next couple of years, so there is no rush, and like he said, we are still young, lets not worry about that right now, we can do that in a couple of years. So for now, the plan is to go and stay in India for a couple of weeks when he is on leave next year, and everything else? We’ll figure it out!