“Don’t worry about it honey, you don’t need to think about it now, you have one year”
Yes, one year. One year for what? I hear you ask! one year to give a solid yes or no as to whether we are going to have a future together. Why? well because he is not getting any younger and his parents will need to know if they are to start looking for a suitable bride for him. I’m not going to lie to you, I am slightly freaked out.
A year isn’t very long, in a year I will perhaps see him on 10 more occasions if I am lucky! Yes, we speak on the phone all of the time but I am sensible enough to know that that cannot constitute a “proper” relationship. I need to be certain, yes, I feel pretty sure, but not certain. They are asking that in a year I decide whether I will potentially down the line be giving up my whole life in England, (I don’t think leaving his parents is an option for him). I mentioned in a previous post, I always thought I was working on a timescale of approximately 3 years, and 3 years is long enough, if you’re not sure after 3 years you definitely shouldnt be carrying on. And ok ok, at this point we are only a few months into out relationship, exactly the reason why he is telling me not to think about it now as it is early days, but it still scares me!
He said that it has been a weight he has been carrying on his shoulders the whole time that he has known me, well now it is lifted off of him, it is sitting on me.
I know from their perspective a year is a very long time, this is a country where arranged marriage is prevent, that most of the time people marry virtual strangers in that situation. but that is not my county, not my culture.
I should probably mention that his parents are happy about our relationship, they have no issue with me, I guess they just need the security of knowing that their only son will definitely get married.
So what am I so scared about? I am scared that we might not reach some sort of agreement/compromise, leading to my biggest fear.. that he will end up becoming the one who got away… I hope not
So for now? I’m going to try my best to put it to the back of my mind and just enjoy what we have.
As he says.. “we’ll figure it out somehow honey”