I’ve not been around so much the last week or so, I am sad to say there has been 2 deaths in the family this week. Death gets you thinking a lot, and a lot of the thinking for me has been that life is just too short for disagreements isn’t it?
Unfortunately there are rifts in our family, the sort of rifts that have survived for longer than 20 years, the sort of rifts that we aren’t even sure of the cause any more, which have shown themselves to be clear this week. I don’t really want to go into too much detail of the personal lives of those close to me on here, it’s not really fair on them, all I’ll say is that I really hope all can now be forgotten – well – whatever all is exactly, I can see the beginnings of reconciliation and that is really great.
However, my question, which I really could do with some advice on, is this – is it always appropriate to forgive someone? It just so happens that whilst I am having all of these “life’s too short” feelings, out of the blue I receive contact from a friend of the past, a girl I had vowed to myself I would never let into my life again.
Over 5 years ago our friendship ended when she and my fiancé started sleeping together. Consequently that relationship ended also. The sad thing was that we had only just re-built our friendship after loosing touch with each other for many years after leaving school – we were childhood friends. Not only did she betray me by sleeping with him, but what I see as worse – she repeated things to him that I had told her in the strictest confidence.
If I am honest she did me a favour, I’m sure she probably wasn’t the first one on his list, but she was the one to make me realise that I shouldn’t be having a future with the man, however I am not sure that should distract from what she did.
Fast forward to today and I receive a message from her telling me she is still very sorry for what she did, and she always thinks about me, she hopes that one day we can get together. Ordinarily I would have deleted the message and carried on, but today I am thinking twice.
Do I reply? Is this something I can forgive her for? Should I forgive her – is that not just saying that what she did was acceptable?