So today I came across yet another one of those relationship horror stories, you know the type that appear int he paper every so often and in those lifestyle magazines every week, it goes something along the lines of this… “he married me for a visa” “I fell in love with a *insert foreign nationality here* hunk, married him and he took all my money” and so on.
And then when I tell people about my relationship with Babu one of the first things they ask me is “oh is he trying to get a visa”!! And then a horror story about someone they knew, or a friend of a friend who has been duped, there was a really sad one where a man left his pregnant wife cos he’s been with her long enough for a visa, awful, but just because babu is foreign, doesn’t mean he should be tarred with the same brush. To be honest I get the opinion he’s not too keen on the UK, though I spend a lot of time trying to convince him otherwise!
I understand that the media only tells these horror stories, not the successes, which can influence peoples opinions hugely. Thank goodness for the trust I have in babu, and people like Sharell Cook who shares her successful relationship story!!
Even at first I was drawn in by all that horror, I am ashamed to admit it, but yes, I was cautious at first not to come across as too wealthy, which is ridiculous because I’m not, but I had just met him as a passenger on a cruise ship in the Caribbean, so a fair assumption to be made. But then I got real!!!! YES, he is from a different country, YES, we have different cultures, slightly different views, ways of thinking, but I ask you right now – how are the risks different from any other relationship?
Exactly! And I know this from experience. A man (well, boy) I was in a relationship for 7years with left me minus £3000! And the next one (a 5 year relationship) threatened to sue me for a holiday he had paid half of that I went on – which he had decided not to go on because he’d fallen in love with the girl from the local coffee shop!! It begrudgingly ended with a smaller settlement of money from myself. So, maybe my past experience explains my initial caution, but that is irrelevant, my point is, these two (completely different from each other) British men, both left me in a situation where I had lost something. On either occasion I didn’t expect it to happen, you can’t pre-empt theses things, and you can never make an assumption that because someone is a certain nationality, culture, class, whatever, that they will do something (or not). I can’t guarantee babu and I will be perfect for each other- but who can?
So who cares if babu is a waiter, Indian, Hindu, brown, whatever, I’m English, white, a marketeer – his family and friends may just have worries about what I could do to him hey?!
Phew. Rant over.