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Dating a seaman

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I don’t tend to touch upon it too often, but after a few experiences I feel I should share the other side of things.

I have been very lucky in that I met Babu, we have built a relationship, we have eternal trust in each other and no reason to think otherwise, he isn’t married and he doesn’t have a girl In every port (as some people assume). How do I know? Would he really get away with spending hours on the phone to me every day when he’s home if he had a wife? And god knows where they would have smuggled her away to when I spent two weeks in his house, and then there’s the fact I have met his WHOLE immediate family – unless he hired some very skilled actors! That is, apart from his grandma, she wasn’t there when I was, although we did meet on skype. And I just trust him! I’ve unfortunately been cheated on several times in my past so am familiar with the warning signs toos. So, I’d say I’m probably pretty safe, but, I am one of the lucky ones.

I have met many a married man on these ships who are either trying to try it on with my cruise companions often trying to earn points cos they know me, or just as bad asking me for my friends numbers.

Yup, sorry to say it but they’re not all good guys, and I’m sorry but (incoming generalisation) when you’re away from your wife for 9 months at a time, you have needs, and sometimes they won’t always be filled when you are alone. Babu tells me that quite often guys visit local seamans clubs in search for a pay-per-hour good time. In fact whilst he was in hamburg for 2 weeks he would go there for wifi to talk to me, there were women trying to proposition him for just that when I was on the phone to him!

And then of course (another incoming generalisation) but a high proportion of the Indian guys will be in arranged marriages, and so I hate to say it, probably don’t have such loyalty towards their spouses.

It’s not just Indians if course, last year a friend I met on a cruise was propositioned by one of the entertainers, he was lucky that a friendly bar steward was looking out for her and pointed out his wedding ring tan line!

So what I’m saying is, if you are falling for a seaman, watch your step, keep your guard up, and don’t end up being the unlucky one. A quick search of the internet unfortunately will find you way too many examples of girls who have been lead astray in this way, and even in non-seaman long distance relationships with foreigners it happens an awful lot.

It can go right, but also wrong as well….. So take care…..

Ria x

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6 responses to “Dating a seaman

  • Katie Druggan

    All seems a bit ominous! But none of those stories surprise me.

  • Manpreet Singh Dhillon

    Hello there Ria, I felt somewhat sad after reading your last post, I didn’t read it soon enough. Anyway I think you guys are looking at other options, right?
    Anyway about your precautions, don’t you think in todays world they are necessary while trying to get in any relationship, be it normal or long distance?
    P.S: I got married to the girl I love, no arrange marriage for this Indian I think.

    • ria

      Hi mani.

      Congratulations, I hope it all went well. Very happy for your happy ending!

      Yeah we are looking at other options and I’m sure we will find a positive outcome, not to say it won’t be hard along the way… But we can’t seem to live without each other so well sort it some how!

      • Manpreet Singh Dhillon

        Thanks for your wishes, yeah it was all great and fun, I can show you the pics if you want. Currently I am in Vietnam(her country) and we are enjoying.
        I know, it isn’t easy to live separate after you’ve together.
        The problems will fade away, believe me. You guys will get a solution and a good one, the point is to bear this hard time.
        Good Luck and I am eager to hear about your wedding date. 🙂

        • ria

          I’m so pleased for you! So when will you finally be living together? Where did you get married? I’m curious about that as I’d like to know how it works with two people of different nationalities, it seems for us, if we wanted to marry in the UK he would need an £800 fiancé visa! – I really need to seek legal advice about how that works with his sea-mans visa too, it’s all a bit messy!

          I’ll send you a mail so you have my email, that way you can send me some pics, I’d love to see, or send me a link if you have them online!

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