In July this site will be 5 years old. A lot has happened in that time, and my life is now very different, and a lot of what has happened is very much in the past.
I’ve not posted too much recently as there’s not a great deal to say any more, which is why I’ve chosen not to renew the MeandIndia.com domain this time around.
The blog will stil be here as it is still getting visitors and I hope that my experiences may bring help to others going though the same, I may also have things to add as tie goes on, however I can’t justify the money for the URL.
So as of June, this blog will live at:
Bookmark it in case you’de like to come back some time.
Take care everyone
So here it is. The end of our story. as I write this he is on a flight back to India. He’s gone. Forever.
And so after all the shouting and screaming and crying, and a couple of days apart, we met up and had sensible talks.
He said it would be best for both of us if we cease any contact for a couple of months, to try and get used to the situation, to help me move on….
…That lasted no more than a few hours…. His reason? He ‘couldn’t help himself’ then again a few hours later, and pretty much every time he has had any sort of Internet signal since….perhaps even more than back when things were ok and normal with us. But why? He made his choice.
His mind is still made up, he has read the things I gave him and his life is still ‘taking care of his family’ he will ‘stay a victim and in misery for their happiness’ he ‘can’t help it, it has been taught from childhood’ … His words.
So pretty much 6 months to the day since I left him at the airport in London, we saw each other again.
I waited a very long time for him to come out, there had been a special event that evening and he was working so late, there is a very special VIP coming in a few days so the pressure is on right now. But eventually he came and we sat in my car outside the terminal.
So much has happened in those six months.
I didn’t know if things felt the same or completely different. I was looking at him, scanning his face, trying to figure it out, trying to figure if he is the same man or if all this has changed him – I don’t even know the answer to this question if I made it about myself so there’s not a chance I could figure it out for him.
…he wouldn’t discuss anything, I sat there and cried, he told me not to, tonight is apparently the night for talking. And for the rest of the time we sat and chatted about anything else, but there was certainly an elephant in the car.
The thing is, if he makes the choice not to fight this, I can’t remain in his life – for my own health and sanity – but right now, I am completely sure that neither of us would be ready to let go, so I pray he has that fight in him.