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Tag Archives: indian culture

The post that never was…

When I was in India staying at babu’s parent’s house I wrote a post, but never published it, as although I’m pretty sure he didn’t remember I had this blog, I didn’t want him seeing it and I guess I didn’t want to put what I was saying out there, or perhaps for me it just made it all a bit too real.

I stumbled across this again today so thought I would share. Now knowing how the situation turned out – just as we had thought – I can see I spent too much time filled with false hope. But hey, hindsight is 20/20!

“I can’t say that any time in the last 3 years whilst away on holiday that I ever feel ready to go home, I know most people just get to a point where they are ready, I never did. Until now.

I’m sorry to say that I just want to go home. I feel completely isolated and lonely. At the beginning babu tried his best to translate most things, but after several days this wore thin on him, and I find myself in what I almost my 3rd day if complete isolation.

By isolation, I don’t mean I am alone, there are currently 5 people here… 5 people speaking Oriya all the time. I had a few historical facts conferred to me whilst visiting the sun temple yesterday, and I get told “wash your hands” “khaana” “pani” but that’s pretty much where it ends. 

When with his family Babu is a man of very few words towards me, and it’s not helping.

The only thing his dad said to me today was not to step over babu’s legs, a reprimand, not given in a harsh way but a reprimand none the less.

Yesterday I was put in front of the tv and the only English Channel switched on. This morning the same. I’m not a toddler and I’m not the sort of person who often watches tv either.

His dad speaks English, but struggles a little, I think he finds it hard, his sister did, during her education but has since lost all ability, his mum, none at all.

I have 5 more days to ride out here.

I now find myself isolating myself more and more, I don’t want to,  but I feel awkward, I don’t feel comfortable sitting with his family when I can’t understand what is going on at all. I’ve tried it, but when I here my name or a glance is made towards be when they are laughing I can’t help but feel paranoid. I am currently sat on the roof.

I don’t wish to talk about what this means for the future, I think this is something for babu and I to discuss, I just thank god that I didn’t gather my belongings, and emigrate into this life completely blind.

5 more days…. Maybe something will change.. Likely not… But need to stay positive.

Until then…..

Location:India

I’ll update you guys soon on how my life is moving on and changing, until then, love to all

R x

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Responsibility of a son

'Life in India' photo (c) 2008, Hiten Mistry - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

I’m sorry I haven’t been around for a while, I was lucky to have the opportunity to spend 17 nights on board Babu’s ship, and prior to that was working like crazy to get my work tied up before I went.

Unfortunately because of the way his shifts worked, we didn’t get a great deal of time together, yet the time away from my everyday life nevertheless served me well, it put life into perspective once again. Getting away always does good for me however unfortunately the fresh outlook on life I received last time I was away 6 months ago diminished somewhat since, perhaps this time I will try a little harder in making the changes my life so desperately needs.

There are a few things I would like to share with you but I will take them one post at a time.

The first one is the biggy. Me, Babu and what seems like our impossible future.

He was telling me about how, ever since he was a child, he has been shouldering the responsibility and expectation put upon him by his parents and society.  The most part to be able to provide for and look after his parents as they proceed into what is considered to be old age.  More so he was telling me of the expectations there would be of me, should we marry and me join their family home. Continue reading


Bargaining and being British

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Ok, so originally this was going to be a post about Babu’s fantastic bargaining skills, however as I began writing it it became apparent that it would be fun to talk a little about British stereotypes as well – you will understand how I got from one thing to another in a moment.

So, here goes, I admit it, I fit quite well into some of the stereotypes, most likely attributed to my middle(ish) class upbringing in a beautiful part of the country – the new forest – a place where I have not only the countryside on my doorstep but the sea also. Lovely. And now I am all grown up (ish) I work for a rather British retailer who of course has royal warrants! …

Continue reading


Christmas wishes

I’ll start by saying a belated happy Christmas and a slightly early happy new year!

So it’s that time of year when everybody gets a bit more friendly then normal – a bit more lovey – people who don’t usually hug are hugging me, and the ones who usually hug are dishing out kisses (on the cheek) too!

It’s the time of year for spreading colds! Haha. I spent a few days helping out at my old workplace in the run-up to Christmas, it was great to catch up with old friends, definitely made Christmas feel a little more Christmassy!

I spoke to babu a couple of days ago, he asked if I had “wished” anyone, it took a couple of minutes to establish what he meant but what he meant was had I wished anyone happy Christmas, like with the above aforementioned hugs and kisses. Now, hugging my friends is perfectly normal for me, male and female alike, it’s no big deal and it’s how we have greeted each other since I can remember, yet it appears to be more of an issue for Babu. Continue reading


Divorce

divorce cake

I have never entered into a relationship with the intention of that relationship coming to an end, that wouldn’t make sense, there’s no point having a relationship in the first place if that is the way you are thinking. But at the same time, having had two long relationships I freely accept that they do come to an end sometimes.

However, in both of the relationships I have had, I at least feel confident that I made every effort I could to try to keep them going. The first, he was a serial cheater, in hindsight I gave him way too many chances, about 3 years into our relationship he cheated and I found out, he ended the affair, we carried on, before then, and many times after then I had my suspicions, but put it down to paranoia. almost 7 years and an engagement later he was started sleeping with my childhood best friend who I had only recently re-kindled a relationship with, I even let this go and moved in with him on a promise it was all over, however his suspicious disappearances proved he couldn’t change, so on one very wet stormy night I left him and never looked back. So as far as that one was concerned I did put up with some pretty unacceptable behaviour, and perhaps if he had the maturity to be an a monogamous relationship things may have been different. Continue reading


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