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Tag Archives: indian man british girl

The post that never was…

When I was in India staying at babu’s parent’s house I wrote a post, but never published it, as although I’m pretty sure he didn’t remember I had this blog, I didn’t want him seeing it and I guess I didn’t want to put what I was saying out there, or perhaps for me it just made it all a bit too real.

I stumbled across this again today so thought I would share. Now knowing how the situation turned out – just as we had thought – I can see I spent too much time filled with false hope. But hey, hindsight is 20/20!

“I can’t say that any time in the last 3 years whilst away on holiday that I ever feel ready to go home, I know most people just get to a point where they are ready, I never did. Until now.

I’m sorry to say that I just want to go home. I feel completely isolated and lonely. At the beginning babu tried his best to translate most things, but after several days this wore thin on him, and I find myself in what I almost my 3rd day if complete isolation.

By isolation, I don’t mean I am alone, there are currently 5 people here… 5 people speaking Oriya all the time. I had a few historical facts conferred to me whilst visiting the sun temple yesterday, and I get told “wash your hands” “khaana” “pani” but that’s pretty much where it ends. 

When with his family Babu is a man of very few words towards me, and it’s not helping.

The only thing his dad said to me today was not to step over babu’s legs, a reprimand, not given in a harsh way but a reprimand none the less.

Yesterday I was put in front of the tv and the only English Channel switched on. This morning the same. I’m not a toddler and I’m not the sort of person who often watches tv either.

His dad speaks English, but struggles a little, I think he finds it hard, his sister did, during her education but has since lost all ability, his mum, none at all.

I have 5 more days to ride out here.

I now find myself isolating myself more and more, I don’t want to,  but I feel awkward, I don’t feel comfortable sitting with his family when I can’t understand what is going on at all. I’ve tried it, but when I here my name or a glance is made towards be when they are laughing I can’t help but feel paranoid. I am currently sat on the roof.

I don’t wish to talk about what this means for the future, I think this is something for babu and I to discuss, I just thank god that I didn’t gather my belongings, and emigrate into this life completely blind.

5 more days…. Maybe something will change.. Likely not… But need to stay positive.

Until then…..

Location:India

I’ll update you guys soon on how my life is moving on and changing, until then, love to all

R x

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