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Tag Archives: saying goodbye

Time to say goodbye

Every time he was here, the sun came out. This not some metaphor or romantic notion, it is fact, perhaps some work of the Gods, but the weather was always bright whenever he came. Until today.

I’m not one for paying attention to the weather forecast, most likely the reason I am often found in completely non-weather-appropriate clothes, I think interest in the forecast is something that comes with age. But my parents would always chat about it, and there became a running joke, not just between me and him, but also with my parents eventually, that we needn’t worry about the weather this weekend when he’s in port, it’ll be sunny. it always is.

But today is different, it is grey and drizzly, the sun, bless it, is still there trying to break through, and it does occasionally through a crack in the clouds, but ultimately today is not like the rest. For today may just have been the end, the last time we ever see each other. Continue reading

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That time of the year again- goodbyes

'Bacio del mare'

Well here we are again, Babu goes home tomorrow.

We’ve been here 3 times so far in our relationship, and actually a few more times than that if you count the various visits in between, but it’s 3 times he’s finished his ship contract and got on a flight home to India for a few months.

The first time was the worst, someone messed up his documents that time and he had ended up with 5 months leave instead of his expected 3, during which time I couldn’t visit him.  Last year was OK, he stayed with me 10 days before going back (even if that didn’t go so well) and we spent a week together in Mumbai during his 3 months leave so it felt a bit more normal for us as I think the longest we went without seeing each other was something like 6 weeks.

This time might be different though.  Last year whilst at home Babu was half-heatedly job searching, but to no avail, if I’m honest I think it was just something for him to do, something for him to focus on, as after the initial joy of being back home and catching up with friends and relatives 3 months is a long time doing nothing.  But this time he’s serious. He is really keen to find himself a job back home.  There are two main reasons for this, and even though for every selfish reason I want him to continue on the ships a year or two longer, I can also see his point of view.

1) He is sick of working on the ships, passengers are unfortunately not always that nice to the people looking after them, and if that’s not great, if there is ever a complaint the managers aren’t all that understanding either. There is no chance for defense or reasoning if there is a complaint, what it comes down to is the passenger is always right  – resulting unfortunately in turning a mid-year recommendation for promotion into an end of year bad review – he just can’t stand the thought of another year in this position. He has also found himself being discriminated against because of me too, but that’s another story.

2) He’s thinking of our future. In the next couple of years we will want to settle down, and he would like to be established in a good job by then, so that  if needs be, he can support me and his family.

Now I can hardly argue against any of those reasons, believe me I know what it feels like to be in a job that is no good to me, and the second reason is utterly sensible! However, at the moment I kinda like things the way they are, it works just fine for us, I’d love to spend a little more time together, but we cope.  If he gets a job, everything will change, we’ll see each other maybe 1-2 times a year, OK we’ll be able to speak every day whereas at the moment its 2-3 times a week but right now we also get to see each other 2-3 times a month too. Continue reading


Goodbyes are never easy

We’ve been saying goodbye to each other in one way or another for almost two years now, most of these are the classic airport scenes I talked about in my post Cliché goodbyes but however we say goodbye, I’m sorry to say, it never gets any easier.  This year alone we have had 3 of these scenes, with a fourth on the horizon this week, I’ll be honest, I only managed to not cry on one of those occasions.

Oh I tell myself this time I won’t cry, besides, I hate crying, it hurts my eyes, makes my nose all snotty and messes up my make-up! but then just as we part he always says something really nice that triggers it! and BOOM! When I cry, I don’t just cry, I CRY, my eyes literally flood – I don’t know whether it is because I keep myself so well hydrated or what but jeez . . it doesn’t stop!  Continue reading


Cliché goodbyes

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Over the last year I have been faced with quite a few goodbye situations, 2 of which fitting your completely stereotypical, pop-ballad inspiring specification. This occurred to me on my way back from the airport this morning.

Yes, guess what?? This morning, after 5 months apart, babu and I got to spend a whole hour of our lives together whilst he waited for his connecting flight to the caribbean! He called me yesterday as soon as he found out his flight details, so I took a little detour on the way to work this morning to see him! So anyway, back to topic…

In the words of the band “take that” in their 1994 number one single everything changes:

“we’ve said goodbye, the taxi cab is waiting. Now dont you cry, just one more kiss Before I have to go” Continue reading


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