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MeandIndia.com is moving

In July this site will be 5 years old. A lot has happened in that time, and my life is now very different, and a lot of what has happened is very much in the past.

I’ve not posted too much recently as there’s not a great deal to say any more, which is why I’ve chosen not to renew the MeandIndia.com domain this time around.

The blog will stil be here as it is still getting visitors and I hope that my experiences may bring help to others going though the same, I may also have things to add as tie goes on, however I can’t justify the money for the URL.

So as of June, this blog will live at:

meandindiadotcom.wordpress.com

Bookmark it in case you’de like to come back some time.

Take care everyone

Ria

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The post that never was…

When I was in India staying at babu’s parent’s house I wrote a post, but never published it, as although I’m pretty sure he didn’t remember I had this blog, I didn’t want him seeing it and I guess I didn’t want to put what I was saying out there, or perhaps for me it just made it all a bit too real.

I stumbled across this again today so thought I would share. Now knowing how the situation turned out – just as we had thought – I can see I spent too much time filled with false hope. But hey, hindsight is 20/20!

“I can’t say that any time in the last 3 years whilst away on holiday that I ever feel ready to go home, I know most people just get to a point where they are ready, I never did. Until now.

I’m sorry to say that I just want to go home. I feel completely isolated and lonely. At the beginning babu tried his best to translate most things, but after several days this wore thin on him, and I find myself in what I almost my 3rd day if complete isolation.

By isolation, I don’t mean I am alone, there are currently 5 people here… 5 people speaking Oriya all the time. I had a few historical facts conferred to me whilst visiting the sun temple yesterday, and I get told “wash your hands” “khaana” “pani” but that’s pretty much where it ends. 

When with his family Babu is a man of very few words towards me, and it’s not helping.

The only thing his dad said to me today was not to step over babu’s legs, a reprimand, not given in a harsh way but a reprimand none the less.

Yesterday I was put in front of the tv and the only English Channel switched on. This morning the same. I’m not a toddler and I’m not the sort of person who often watches tv either.

His dad speaks English, but struggles a little, I think he finds it hard, his sister did, during her education but has since lost all ability, his mum, none at all.

I have 5 more days to ride out here.

I now find myself isolating myself more and more, I don’t want to,  but I feel awkward, I don’t feel comfortable sitting with his family when I can’t understand what is going on at all. I’ve tried it, but when I here my name or a glance is made towards be when they are laughing I can’t help but feel paranoid. I am currently sat on the roof.

I don’t wish to talk about what this means for the future, I think this is something for babu and I to discuss, I just thank god that I didn’t gather my belongings, and emigrate into this life completely blind.

5 more days…. Maybe something will change.. Likely not… But need to stay positive.

Until then…..

Location:India

I’ll update you guys soon on how my life is moving on and changing, until then, love to all

R x


The end….

So here it is.  The end of our story.  as I write this he is on a flight back to India.  He’s gone. Forever. 

…the end…. 


Time to say goodbye

Every time he was here, the sun came out. This not some metaphor or romantic notion, it is fact, perhaps some work of the Gods, but the weather was always bright whenever he came. Until today.

I’m not one for paying attention to the weather forecast, most likely the reason I am often found in completely non-weather-appropriate clothes, I think interest in the forecast is something that comes with age. But my parents would always chat about it, and there became a running joke, not just between me and him, but also with my parents eventually, that we needn’t worry about the weather this weekend when he’s in port, it’ll be sunny. it always is.

But today is different, it is grey and drizzly, the sun, bless it, is still there trying to break through, and it does occasionally through a crack in the clouds, but ultimately today is not like the rest. For today may just have been the end, the last time we ever see each other. Continue reading


Is Goodness Perceived as Weakness?

Brilliant, thought-provoking piece, I can relate to so much of this. I guess this was the breaking point for us, I am all for strength, empowerment, and doing what is right an moral, but for my western background this is quite normal. ‘Indian men who are considered good tend to remain unassertive in their personal lives and cannot say ‘no’ to domineering parents’ – Nail hit on the head there.

‘Goodness is not meekness. Strength is not meanness. It is much harder to remain honest and true to oneself than it is to “go with the flow” and lose our identities. It is much harder to remain fair even to our enemies than it is to paint them in an unflattering light.’

The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

Guest post by wordssetmefreee

Is goodness seen as weakness in our culture?

What are some ways in which ‘goodness’ is displayed in our culture?

A woman is ‘good’ when she

  • seldom disagrees
  • fits in with society’s norms
  • respects the wishes of those who feel they know better than her, what is good for her (parents, in-laws, husband)
  • keeps the peace, maintains the status quo rather than tell others they are wrong

In all of the above, ‘goodness’ is seen as meekness and compliance. There is nothing surprising about this interpretation of goodness in women, as our culture (like many other cultures around the world) tends to be sexist.

But, when we look at goodness in men (since they are more free of sexist expectations), it becomes more interesting.

How is goodness perceived in men? Who qualifies as a “good man” and is goodness a quality that is admired in men?

View original post 1,187 more words


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